I was reading my old livejournal today, back in 2002 I was messed up, some of the stuff I blogged, to me now is just plain crazy, I was a pot smoking, anti depressant taking head case at the time and I really had noclue who I was, where I beloged or what I wanted in life. It really makes you go through the motions, I didnt feel I was happy so I wasnt happy, alot of feeling depressed is because you want to feel that way. I know they say ita a chemical imbalance and taking anti-d’s does help mut you really have to do more and thats re-invention of your self, changing habbits, doing fun thigs, spoiling yourself and I think that lifs you up and can correct the chemical imbalance.
If everything looks gloomy its easy to make it gloomier. Still life is better, my choice in music it better. Songs I used to really like I find little comfort in were all really quite depressing too. Looking back on your past is a very good way to get a perspective on the here and now and plan for the future. With Jesus in my life who I have yet to really truely open myself up too 100% my life is improved, I am working up to opening doors to those little rooms I keep lock from him, I know he already knows the contents but for now I need to keep them locked. 
